I Don’t “Do” Groups

I’m definitely going to strike a very introverted tone with this email, so please bear with me. I do think what I have to say applies to all people, regardless of how introverted or extroverted you are.

I’d like to discuss group dynamics for a moment here.

Since as long as I can remember, hanging out in a group has represented something of a challenge or struggle for me. That being said, it’s not something I want to avoid because I recognize my human endeavors are done in groups.

One of the biggest roadblocks that I’ve faced in groups is my tendency to lock into whatever conversation or interaction I’m currently having, and for that to be repeatedly broken by intercepting people and/or events taking place in this group setting. People arriving (greetings), people leaving (farewells), people with different energies (wanting to mess around vs not, etc).

For a while, I thought to myself:

This is just not gonna work. I can’t ‘do’ groups.

But I refuse to be that black and white about things. Yes, I love more intimate interactions and my rule of thumb is that the less people that are involved, the deeper the interactions can generally get (plenty of exceptions to this).

But what I’m realizing is that I am getting frazzled or overwhelmed in ways that I don’t have to. I can approach everything, including just hanging out in a group of people, as an opportunity for growth.

But it’s an opportunity for me to let things just happen. To observe. To not try to make people act in a different way or control a conversation. To go with the flow of what’s happening, knowing that it is temporary. I am very reactive, but I don’t have to be.

In general, I’m noticing, life is quite a bit more pleasant when I am not so reactive and I just let things happen.

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A little bit of inspiration for you

1. They found their home!!

2. I am really enjoying A Year in Provence by Peter Mayle and recommend it for anyone longing to spend more time in the countryside

3. I thought this was an interesting thread on clouds.

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Music Recommendations

1) Very creative songwriting, love the lyrics in this one.
2) This one is really fun to listen to.

Thanks for reading,

Nathaniel Drew